Mirro X

ive come to realize, that i could never work a job that i dont like...

ive quit so many jobs in the last few years, all becuase when it comes down to it my managers always a bitch, and i have no tolerance for it. Im fine when people are chill even if the place im working isnt my fav, but once they start to be a douche, its like i have no reason to stay. I had a job that started me at $16 and hour, and quit my first day becuase they wanted me to stand outside in the heat, and gave me an attitude when i said no.

to me, life is too short to have to do something you hate everyday. what if you happen to get into a car crash oneday not far from now, an realize you wasted your life at some shithole with a cunt for a boss. i know so many people who wake up every single day to go to a job they hate all day, go to bed, wake up and do it all over. that could never be me... i just woundnt be able to live liek that. id rather have less money, and actually be able to enjoy life. then have alot and be misereble.

i dont know... thats just how i think....

plus when people try and give me orders at a job, i feel like ripping their face off :/

i got a new job that hopefully will something different. i chance to meet alot of new people and such. im pretty excited :3 ill let you guys know how it goes.

and i have clip in hair extensions for sale now. i make them out of fine human hair, and tried to make them much better then those shitty ones at hot topic ha. i have three colors up now and will be making more soon. go check them out<3

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8045803

and remember lovers, life is far too short to waste doing something you hate. get out there and have a fucking ball, even if you arent as rich as youd like to be.

m bored and on way to the mall. its an hour away ahhh fml. someone sent me this survey type of thing and it killed 20 mins woooo

 

why do people have to be so fucking stupid!!! i swear is having blue hair the end of the world? people act like having blue hair is such a big deal when clearly half the world dyes there hair. so wtf makes a bleach blonde more natural then blue?? i cant beleive the looks i get when i apply for a job and the fact that i have to wear a wig to my jobs now. its my choice to have my hair that color, why should it matter to anyone else. and yes some fucking losers are scared of it, but it brings more attention to the store then if a normal person was standing there. sooo many people come into the places im working just to say how much they love my hair. wouldnt that be good for a business? but no i have to fucking hide who i am under wigs, boring clothes and shit like that, and i SO FUCKING SICK OF IT ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im seriously gonna punch the next person who says my hair is a problem so hard their mothers vagina is gonna hurt. stupid cuntface asslicking motherfuckers ahhhh!

So I punched a bitch in her face today....

So unlike me lol

Normally if sumone pisses me off I just verbally destroy them, or if they get me really mad they get a bitch slap

But I was so not in the mood this morning. From having to get up early for work, boyfriend drama, massive humidity, she just caught me at the perfect time. Well next time this snooty bitch with her nose in the air decides to walk pass me and say " thank god AIDS gets rid of them" maybe she'll think twice remembering the black eye she got haaaaa

So I was in ....florida.... the past two weeks. I went to Orlando and ....Miami...., it was pretty fun. Except for that I slit my ankles the first night I was there, couldn't breathe or put on makeup cuz of the heat, puked up everything I ate since my stomach decided not to be able to hold food anymore, and got the most massive bruise on my head.. other then that it was fine lol

But everyone says I got really dark, do you think so?

Im glad to be back tho. Let me tell you it was sooo fucking hot there it was insane. And not the good type of insane either... I used to want to live in ....Miami.... oneday, but I know I could never... I need to live someplace really really cold. Im planning on starting my sleeve this or next week too, im so excited. Tattoos are the sexyest things ever, I love them XD I have so many ideas, that I just decided my whole one arm is going to be devoted to them.

And yesterday I decided to go out and drop a thousand on a new camera. Yeah cuz im crazy like that... nah but I actually needed it to take good photos of the makeup I do. I want to build a good port up, and I cant do that with a suckish camera. I think it takes pretty good shots what do you think? My brother came over and took this of me that night.

First shot with the new camera

And here is one I took of my littlest kitten mr fuzzylumpkins ^ ^ mr. fuzzylumpkins has anxiety issues. he needs kitty valium.....

So me and my boyfriend are trying to make things work out... weve been going out on and off since October. And that's a fucking long time for me. The problem is that I need massive amounts of attention and I don't think he gets that. Im like a needy puppy, I need to feel love constantly or I get pissed bored and enraged....  We hardly even talk either.. uhh the drama :/

 ohhh and wtf is up with plastic surgeons being such assholes. I have a clearly vision for what I want my face to look like and no one wants to do it :/ they all say I have the perfect nose for a man.. when clearly I don't, fuck my life seriously lol. So im gonna seach till I find the perfect surgeon still I suppose arrrggg

i find it funny that there are still sooo many people who dont know what a weave is, or are unaware of hair extensions. People send me comments all the time, that say "what is this weave that i hear you talking bout", or I'll be patting my weave at work since its itching, and people will be looking at me like i have 5 heads asking if im well. another thing is people always assume that if your hair isnt real then it has to be a wig. i try to explain the concept that a wig you can take off when you feel like it, while most extensions are sewn/glued into your head until you take them out... but people still seem to have no clue wtf im talking about lol. I personally hate wigs, since they make my head feel really hot. A weave looks like it would be really hot underneath but its actually not.

but still there are people who are so clueless about extensions even when there are tons of celebrities out there who wear them. tyra banks and beyonce are two obvious ones, but paris hilton and jessica simpson are two that most people dont expect. Ive watched shows where it shows them getting there hair done for events, and they put the extensions in. Paris actally came out with her own brand of hair extensions called dream catchers

 

they claim them to be the best hair exntensions on earth, but somehow i doubt that. The even say " now you can have hair JUST like paris" but ummmm unless shes selling her real hair, which she would need alot of.. i doubt its gonna be just like it.

but anywayz, next time you here me talking bout my weave, dont think its such a strange thing. Most people with long sexy hair are probably hiding the secret of fake hair. You just never know, the person standing next to you just might have bought their hair in a store like me 0_o

a person can only deal with so much before they break down.

i dont think people understand how hard it is to be me....  everytime i walk out the door, i know im gonna be judged by every person to pass by me. theres gonna be a thousand guys that yell " what the fuck is that!!" and stupid little kids that ask their parents " why is that boy acting like a girl?"

every person that see's me has an opinion, and most of them are negative... i mean i cant even use a restroom without getting called a faggot 14 times. i know what your thinknig,i shouldnt be complaining beacuase its my choice to dress and act like this, but that is exactly the point. people should be able to be whoever they want to be, without fearing the concequnces

thats why i refuse to change myself even tho it means sacrificing my heart. I wan to show people that i am me, no matter how bad im treated, and im not gonna change. Ive may have lost all emotions, and pretend my heart dosent care anymore, but it still hurts when a group of preteens walk by and yell "queer!!!" as they throw a bottle of coke. ive had to go threw so much in the past few years, i lost all compassion for the human race.

being called a faggot, queer, homo, and a freak everday of your life stars to change you.  i makes you realize that people are so insecure with themself, that they have to make fun f other people to feel better. the words start to lose their power and you realize that, that love and hate are really the same thing. they are both an obsession with something they want or cant have. You begin to see that the more your hated, the more your secretly loved.....

but then again when you wake up alone in the middle of the night and suddenly all the things people have said to you begin to sink in.... you feel pain for a brief moment... and realize is it all really worth it??

and then the pain fades away and you remember how far youve come.... i wont give up... i'll change the world one mind at a time.... you mind will be mind and oneday it will be a safe place for everyone no matter how you dress or act..... i'll make sure of that

im not positve why.. but for some reason everyone thinks im a girl when im out now. i mean i know im androgynous, but i kinda lack breasts, dont cross dress, have alittle 5 oclock shadow, and have a masculine jaw..... the only think really womenly about me is the fact that i wear makeup and have long-ish hair... but everywhere i go i have mexican men hitting on me, people saying " excuse me miss", and even my manager at work saying "she'll" help you out on the next register :/

if one more person has shit to say about michael jackson i swear to god ill dig my razor sharp finger nails into their skull.

You know I really have to start taking my own advice. I tell people never trust another person because they'll always and up hurting you... and yet i always seem to find someone who swears that theyll be different, but in the end... its always the same

so today was just not my day....

i left nair on my arms for to long and burnt off my skin, and then was way too tired to be doing my hair and burned my ears like 12 times. clearly im skilled, just dont even worry about it... its the second time im writing this blog since my computer sucks, and to top it all off its rainnig and so so humid out today. my least favorite wheather combination ever. you just get all sticky and sweating as soon as you go out the door :/

it didnt get me too down tho, since i have a pretty exciting week planned. thurday im going into the city to get my shopping on. I feel like buying gloomy bears and searching for cute underwear XD then sunday i have a photoshoot with this really awesome photographer. yay!

i had a shoot last sunday too, but couldnt go. My lips were so huge i couldnt even talk right haha

they arent as swollen now, and look so so good. Ive wanted it done for so long and i looove how it turned out. Alot of people done like them, but to be honest i dont give a fuck. like i said, i love them, and thats all that matters to me ;) if you dont like it, then that sucks for you, cuz i dont like ur face.....


oneday i want them to look almost like amanda's. I find her absoluty gorgeous, and her lips are sooooo beautiful. In around a week im going back for them to do the top of my mouth. that why i get that pouty fish look ;)




so its been around 3 weeks that ive had royal blue hair. And to be honest i really dont know how i feel about it. Alot of people really like it, but alot of people like teal alot better. i have around two weeks before i have to make a decsions, and im thinknig i may leave it this color for another month.

what do you think, should i go back to the teal?



i have a really awesome tattoo planned too. i got inspired a few days ago looking at these paintings by a really awesome artist. I cant give away too many details yet, but i think you guys are really gonna like it ;)


ohhhh and heres a photo of a crystal covered eyelash. it makes me very happy, so hopefully it will do the same for you<3

me and my 11yr old brother where the same size shirt

cake batter ice cream is my favorite

i enjoy pissing people off

wearing tons of makeup to hide my face makes me feel confident

i hate so many people on this planet that i have to keep a book of people im not talking to

fridays are one of my least favorite days

im allergic to my own skin and hair

if i could go out once without getting raped i think my ego would drop ten points

i have an obsession with bumble bees

im never going to get old

but im never going to die....

i wear the same necklace everday.. it has alot of memories

my favorite part of the morning is drawing my eyebrows on

almost no one knows the real me

country music makes me want to stab myself in the eyes

i use the men amd womens bathroom interchangibly- which everone has a shorter wait

my body has hundreds of scars,cuts and burns, all from thinking im ugly

i never wanted to be loved, but at the same time it was all i yearned for.....

i buy the cutest outfits and never wear them

i dont ever wear clothes

i used to watch the view every morning

i can be so cruel at times.... its just in my nature

baby blue and white and my favorite colors

the only thing i fear in life is becoming ugly

i like to toy with peoples emotions

i was a pretty black girl is my last life

im easily jealous

i need people to hate me just to keep myself going

i have all the xmen cartoons on my ipod

i once spent a full hour having a conversation with a squirrel

i spend at least 10 hours a day obsessing over how i look

i have vampire teeth

i whiten the fuck out of my teeth but they never seem to change color

i take pills like candy

im in happily everafter

ahh ive been sleeping for around 13 hours everynight. it makes me feel so much better than if i only get like 8 or sumthing . Ive been going to bed at like 3:30 and getting up at like 4pm. I turned into such a night owl haha. I can only get things done when its like 1 in the morinig lol. but i think ive gotten a new job as a bartender, so that fits in perfectly. Sleeping all day and getting up a night to go to a club and work is my kinda life hehe ^ ^ ive been in training this whole week, and i actually reall ylike it. Its kinda hard to remember how to make soooo many drinks, but im getting the hang of it. ive only had a few days of classes and already kno how to make a few hundred drinks. who wans a chocolate martini ??? ^ ^

and my love life just might be one ofthe most confusing subjects on earth. Ive sorta had a bf for the last 3 months and sorta not. i take him out of my top and put him back in like everyday lol, its sooo comlicated. Im a very needy person haha and i need a bf who will be txting and calling me non stop to see how i am.  and coming over all the time too. not ignoring my txts for a whole day then randomly txting me the next like " hey" and thats it. that dosent go well haha.... *sigh*...

i went and bought platform zebra sandals cuz ive been feeling short lately. they give me a good 3-4 inches, and it makes me  feel a whole lot better. i wear them almost every day now even tho its like 10 degrees out haha. i need to move sumwhere warmer, but idk. i hate the heat so i guess ill just have to deal with it.

i think my hair has been looking alot better too actually. i dont know what it is. the weave people always kill my hair when the cut it, and my friend jackie was away, so i had to cut it myself. i actually did a really good job getting to to fall exactly how i wanted. and since i never can find a good color dye either ive been mixing it myself too to make my own color. so i guess its like they say if you want sumthing done right you have to do it yourself. lol clearly i should be doing hair too ;)

i bought that bandana the other day with my friend in NYC, and wear it almost everyday now hehe. when i get obsessed with sumthing its all i use lol.

i cant wait till may comes so i can go to bamboozle, ahh im so excited ^ ^ whose gonna be there??

my life is so ridiculous haha

last week i was so depressed i couldnt move, and this week is like the best week of my life. Im feeling a whole lot better lately. It helps to have so many people who care, it really cheers me up alot. And i had to remember my own advise and realize that life is too short to waste it being depressed.

ive been going to the city like every day now and having the craziest adventures. I met my new bff haha shes amazing. She just moved to NYC from florida and i love her haha.

arent her tattoos awesome?

we were searching for cute boys in the city, which we actually really found only one!!! like really??? a whole city and only one!!!? we went into the store he worked at like 500000 times and he def thinks we were stalkers. but whaterver i gave him my friends number but we think he has a gf/bf =[

then we went to chinatown and alomst died. like really seriously actual danger. We were were stupid and followed some random chinese women 6 blocks into som deserted apartment all in search of  dolce &gabanna bag. she started taking thru basments and underground dungeons with the walls spiyying out smoke! then she tried to lock the door behind us! i almost had to pull out my razor blade it was amazing. i was not gonna become some sex slave to her. we werent allowed to speak each becuase appently there ws a crazy man living upstars 0_o In the end tho she led us to a secret room with hundreds of stolen designer bags. it was def the creepiest experience of my life.

then while we were walking we saw this giant squid hanging from the chinken racks. It was one of the oddest looking creaturs ive ever seen being eaten in chinatown, and ive been going there alot. they guy got all pissed that i took a picture, but i dont really care who i piss of anymore lol.

i went into the tarina tarantino store for the first time too. I wanted to look at her kidrobot collection, cuz i thought it was really cute. OMG! i like felt so glamerous in her store, i tred on all these huge necklaces and had on all these rings and bracelets. It was amazing. Im def gonna spend all my money there. And i even went homewith a labbit ring ^ ^ im obsessed with it lol

so what has everyone been up to? I fel like i havent talked to anyone is forever!

<3

Ok so im going to start doing reviews on products ive tryed, since i have tryed ALOT of things in my time. From makeup to hair care and skin care, ill cover it all. This is just my opinion tho. dont get offended if you feel the opposite way i do, this is just what I think.

So im gonna start tonight with talking about Pureology Hair care. Pureology is a top of the line, expensive brand that focuses in color care, with each line of their products specializing in someting else such a hydrating or straitghtning.

since i did work in a few stores that sold this brand, and kept hearing geat reviews on how amazing it was i decided i had to try it. So I had someone buy me the whole collection ( remember i had real hair when i was using this, not my weave back then) to see if it really worked.

well they have many repair, reconstuct, hydrate bottles, which was what i needed since i had black and white hair, and i hoped that using it would help keep the black from fading and the white from looking so dead./

well it failed miserably at helping with either. the black faded out recordly fast, and while using it in the shower my hair did feel soft. after it dryed it still look as damaged as ever. and that dosent make me happy when your paying $100 for a little tub of the repair mask.

i tryed all the products in the line, including the straightening, which didnt do a thing to my massivly ethnic hair. not to mention that one of the leading ingredients in the flat iron spray was alcohol, so it made my hair look even more dead and frizzy.

so basicly, i learned just because something has a professional reputatation, and its very highly priced dosent mean that its gonna do shit in reality. So save your money and go get a weave, cuz this stuff dosent deserve your time

wow i cant beleive the year is almost over. I just realized that new years is only a few days away!! i dont know how i didnt know this, since clearly its not a surprise to everyone else, but im not ready for it to end =[ Its been one of the most exciting/depressing/best/worst years of my life. and i wouldnt change it for the world.

so while i was in the shower washing my weave i thought of all the highs and lows of this year. soooo here it is. 2008 in a nutshell  ^_^

for the first time in my life i made real friends.

i had my first real relationship

i had my heart shattered beyond repair

i worked for the first time in my life.

i finished high school even tho i never really even went

i went to college and realized that it sucked beyond belief

i lost alomst every friend i thought i had

i found out i look really hot in eyeliner and a side pony tail

i gave up on real eyebrows

i gave up on real hair

i gave up on wishing that sumone i loved for a long time could ever love me back

i got my first tattoos ( more to come in 09)

i took miami by storm and it wil never be the same

i changed my hair so many times it fell out

i realized life is better without emotions

i saw how hateful people in this world could really be

i found out that im in love with my own reflection

i went thru numerous relationships that always ended badly

i swore revenge on many, many people, who will feel my wrath

i got my revenge that took almost 6 years

i got to spend time having adventures with my sister

i almost lost my life and many occasions

i had the most amazing day in new york city including a almost fatal bike ride

i went to more concerts than in my whole life combind

i had a complete nervous breakdown in the bathromm of an h&m

i stopped dreaming and my fantasies a reality

im sure im forgetting stuff, but basically thats alot of it. even tho i had some of the worst experiences of my life, it still was the best year ive ever had. It was filled with more excitement and drama then i can even remember. basically there was a never a dull moment, which is what i love. hopefully they new year will bring more adventure and happiness then ive ever imagined. I know there wil be hard times, but thats what makes the good times more special.

now what were ur favorite or least favorite parts of this year!?

omfg!!! i cant even beleive how busy ive been lately. I havent even had like an hour to get on the computer in the past 4 days its insane. There just been sooo much going on, from starting my new job, to all this family drama,   to my sister coming home<3, my last days of college, and im sure there more that im just forgeting about haha.

i had so much fun while my sister starr was here. We went shopping, went to a party, and even went to the city. It was amazing. Haha we have the best time together, shes sooo much like me. It makes me so sad that she lives so far away....

i might get her to make a buzznet tho with all her modeling pics, so that should be cool.

well anyway i got a job at a store called spencers.

idk if youve heard of it or not, but they have them in all the malls near me. They sell everything basically. from manic panic hair dye ( which was why i wanbted the job lol), lava lamps, disco balls, hair extensinos, tee shirts, toys, and even vibrators. Its a pretty cool store, I must say. and they really dont care if your pierced or neon haired or what ever ( UNLIKE SOME FUCKING PLACES IVE WORKED AT!!!....lol lost my cool.) but i really have to say, that the way im treated by customers is alot different then what im used to.

Im used to working in makeup places, where the only people that come in are stylish women , or gays guys. So for the most part, no one ever says anything about my hair or makeup. in fact, they love it. But now, i realized that im in the middle of a store in the mall, where everyone and thier mother comes into. And really I cant belive in only two days how many people have been assholes to me over it. Its like they never saw i guy in make up before or never saw sumone with colored hair. People will walk right in, and go " What the fuck is that" and start pointing at me.

like really, does that make them feel good? lets all point at the freak to see if we can make him cry. haa well they all better soon realize that im not the kinda person that changes who they are, or breaks down because they got teased. Im really not bothered by their simple minded remarks at me at all. I could give a shit less if they like me or not. Im not gonna change for them. It just pisses me of tho that there are still that many people who arent accepting of anyone who's different then them. That what makes me angry. You would think that with all crazy things going on in this world. a blue haired boy woulndt be the thing that pushed them over the edge.

but really i feel bad for them... i know that theyre just jealous that they could never pull off my look if they tryed. I look better only spending 25 mins getting ready, then they could look if they spent years fixing themselves up. So just remember that if someone is a jerk to you for no reason, it just means theyre jealous of you. They want sumthing you have, even if you cant imagine them being jealous of you. It could be the simplest thing you take for granted like the love of a parent, that could make someone hate you cuz they want it soo bad.. so be happy, people only tease you cuz deep down they want to be you. thats what i figured out long ago by studing the people that made me cry everyday. And know, ive cahnged and evolved and became better than every single one of them....

why does everyone think that I'm nothing but photoshop?? is it a problem for someone to look good in a picture today, without someone thinkning its fake. I cant tell you how many messages i get from people asking what I look like without photoshop. Like what the fuck!? clearly ive posted a whole bunch of videos of myslef, which cant be faked, so guess i must have made up a videoshop right?? give me a break.

sure, ill give you that I do photoshop on alot of my pics. But nothing like facial recontruction. I just use it to change the lighting/ remove pimples/ get rid of red eye. So yeah, i do use photoshop, but not to change my face or body! i admit i was really bad at photoshop a few years back, and the pics i did were terrible. But thats ust proof that im not faking my looks. Like really, i post like 3 to 4 pics a day. do you think i have to time to do a whole hour of retouching before i post it? i get pissed when i have a zit and have to spend 10 mins making it dissappear.

but i know nothing i say will make you actually beleive me, so go watch my videos and see for urself. and  then wait till you see me in real life , youll be eatting ur words ;)

UN-RETOUCHED!!

<3

ah wtf its almost christmas already!!! it feels like this year is going by in like hyper speed. its prob just cuz im always so busy tho. i was talking to one of my friends and i realized that i havent even had time to sit and watch tv in 3 years! haha its good tho cuz if i get bored, things go bad fast hahahaha

my weave is looking alot better lately.

 you can still completly see the tracks from the top, but what everrrr. haha ill make tracks showig look good ^ ^ at least there not glued in anymore haha. i hated that everywhere i went i would have hair falling out everytime i was talking to someone. i would be paying for a movie ticket, and my hair would fall on the cashier haha. i made it alot bluer, cuz i fucking hate when people call it green haha. and i think im gonna have my friend miss jackie do the tips in black. that would probably look hot.

im suppose to be going to arizona after christmas during the break, to visit my sister,

 but the flight are soooooo expensive! like 1200 for coach!!! WTH! ahhh. i miss my sister so much tho, i havent seen her since last valentines days... its so depressing. shes like one of the only people that understand the way I think.......

so im think i need alot of practice drawing my eyebrows on. my friend Raquel did them for me the other day, and i realized how bad a job i had been doing. She made them look fantastic.

i should be getting alot of practice tho soon since im going to be going to school for makeup in the city. Im so tired of college, its not for me at all. The people are so boring, nd the work is hard, and for what?? cuz clearly im never gonna have a job that needs business or algerbra. im excited, i cant wait to start.

ohhh! and ive been using the loose pigment from mac like crazy now!! the colors are insane! i absoluty love them. i love the sparkly white colors, and the teals are amazing to match my hair. I highly recomend you go and buy some. they are worth it, because mine last FOREVER!

i bought like 5 as a christmas present to myself hahaha. and i think im gonna have to go back and get sum more actually.

so who still has to buy a thousand presents for people!?!? somehow even with shoping everyday i havent got half my list done lol